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Welcome to the final Orsm update EVER. :-(
... for 2019.
Alright so this update is HUGE and there's a very good reason for that - it is, as alluded to, the last one... for 2019. I've spent the last couple of months conjuring something that will deliver a heroin + triple orgasm level of satisfaction... and most likely break the servers. I'm confident that at very least the latter will be achieved. There's well over 100 new vids, Shite out the wazoo and enough nudity to satisfy even the most discerning weirdo fuckers out there.
Orsm hit 20-years-old this year. Decided not to make a big thing of it but honestly blows my mind.
As is tradition for the Christmas update, I'll run through some of the most popular stuff posted throughout the year. Its always pretty interesting [read: eye-opening] reviewing what you guys liked the most so let's take a look...
First up are the TOP 5 MOST VIEWED PORN CLIPS. These are the ones prefixed with 'amateur' in the title, which as explained a few years back, just means porn...
Next let's do the TOP 5 MOST VIEWED SEXY/NSFW VIDS. Self-explanatory for the most part - a clip focusing on the female body [but without a wangs messing it up]...
There's always surprises in the TOP 5 MOST VIEWED GENERAL/NON-PORN VIDEOS. If nothing else it highlights that we all have different tastes but what *I* think is going to be the most popular ends up being smashed by something totally random. Drilling down into the stats might make it clearer but meh. Take a looksi...
Have included a category for the TOP 5 ALCOHOL RELATED VIDS. Don’t ask me why but anything to do with alcohol and girls is apparently loved by you guys. Actually, WTF am I on about? Alcohol... girls... what's not to love??
Of course, something has to finish last so here we have the TOP 5 LEAST VIEWED VIDS. Essentially this is the participation trophy category...
The TOP 5 IMAGE GALLERIES is another one of those you never quite know how will go. There were some pretty stellar galleries this year [if I do say so..] and I'd struggle to point to a favourite however the people have spoken and there are definitely no disappointments here...
The TOP 5 MOST POPULAR RANDOM SHITE'S is an almost pointless category. You guys hit each one each week in about the same numbers which kind of says mission accomplished - Random Shite is random; you guys click it not knowing what you'll find. Even if it was an entire gallery full of dick pics you wouldn’t know until it was too late. Anyway, of the 5000+ RS images this year these were the most viewed...
I'm including the TOP 5 DON'T WATCH THIS VIDS because why the fuck not? Part of me expected these to be far lower down the hit list than they were but apparently people can't follow warnings and like to see sick shit... good on you guys!
Okay that should about do us. Any more writing at the top here will only prolong you dudes from embarking on what is an exceptionally epic update. Don’t stress though - its not *all* Christmasy. It’s a mix of plenty of everything and should keep everyone amused while I take a very much needed week off. In other words - there will be NO UPDATE on 26th December. Orsm'll be back on the 2nd January instead. Alright lets get cracking. Check it...
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Little Johnny climbs onto Santa's lap at the department store. Santa says "I'll bet I know what you want for Christmas". And with his index finger he taps the boy on the nose with every letter he spells "T-O-Y-S". The little boy answers "No, I have enough toys". Santa tries again, tapping Johnny's nose with every letter "C-A-N-D-Y". Again, Johnny says "No, I have all kinds of candy". "Well, what would you like for Christmas?" Santa asks. Johnny replies, tapping Santa on the nose "P-U-S-S-Y. And don't tell me you don't have any because I can smell it on your fingers!"
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A South African friend of mine said that he got me a kindle for Christmas. I was very excited until he told me he got a matching Barbie as well.
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A male elf was so paranoid about the size of his willy that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with an elf nurse. One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem. "Don't worry" She said. "I'm a nurse. I won't laugh". Blushing the man drops his trousers. "It's okay" she said. "I've seen lots smaller than that". "Really?" the relieved elf asked. She nodded. "Yes" she chuckled "I used to work in the maternity unit".
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There's high expectation about a new film out this Christmas about one New Zealanders sexual conquests. It's set to be a flockbuster.
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It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said "I visited the tattoo parlour today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked "Why did you do that?" "Well" she replied "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Year's!"
ORSM VIDEO
It was Christmas Eve. A poor old lady was sitting alone, except for her cat, in her tiny house, in front of a small fire.
Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and the old woman's good fairy appeared in the room. The old woman was astonished, but the fairy reassured her: "Don't be afraid! I am your good fairy. You are very poor, and all alone at Christmas, so I have come to grant you three wishes, to cheer you up".
The old woman was about to speak, but the fairy held up her hand. "Wait!" she said "Before you make a wish, think carefully! You will get exactly what you wish for, and no wish can be undone!"
So, the old woman sat silently, staring at the fire and thinking. Eventually, she spoke: "First" she said "I want to be very, VERY wealthy".
*POOF!*
Immediately, the tiny house was packed with pots full of gold coins, and sacks of bank-notes. There was more money than anyone could spend in an entire lifetime. In two lifetimes even!
The old woman looked around and smiled. She thought some more, and spoke again: "Next" she said "I want to be young and beautiful again, like I was when I was 18".
*POOF!*
The old woman disappeared. In her place sat a beautiful young woman, with smooth, white skin and long, golden hair. The woman looked at her hands and arms, felt her hair, and smiled.
"Third" she said to the fairy "I want you to change my cat into a handsome young prince, who will love me and take care of me all my life!"
*POOF!*
The fairy disappeared, and the cat leapt up from his place by the fire as a handsome young prince. He reached out to the woman, pulled her to her feet, embraced her, and kissed her passionately. Then he gazed into her eyes and said: "Hah! Now you're really going to be sorry that you had me neutered!!"
CHRISTMAS AMATEURS: PART 21 |
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Xmas Am's previously: #20 - #19 - #18 - #17 -#16 - #15 - #14 - #13 - #12 - #11 - #10 - #9
#8 - #7 - #6 - #5 - #4 - #3 - #2 - #1 - MORE >>
ORSM VIDEO [CHRISTMAS EDITION]
Three garbage men were doing their Christmas rounds and collecting their well-earned Xmas tips and gifts from the grateful householders when they arrived at a pleasant house at the end of a cul-de-sac.
The first garbage collector went up to the door to be met by the lady of the house in very revealing attire, who said "Oh yes, I know what you want!" as she dragged him upstairs to the bedroom to have her wicked way with him.
A short while later he returned bedraggled to the garbage truck and told his colleague what had happened.
His mate like the idea of some of that so he went to the house where once again the lady appeared, this time in even more revealing attire.
"Oh yes, I know what you want!" she said as she dragged him upstairs to the bedroom to have her wicked way with him as well.
Afterwards, he also returned bedraggled to the lorry and told the driver what had happened.
"Hmmm, I'll have a bit of that!" thought the driver and walked up to the house.
The lady opened the door and gave him $5.
"Hey!" said the driver "What about the fun and games you gave my colleagues?" "Oh that" said the woman "You can blame my husband for that". "What's he got to do with it?" asked the driver. The lady answered "Well, he said to give $5 to the driver and fuck the other two".
RANDOM SHITE: PART 1 [CHRISTMAS EDITION]
Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument, go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies, and play a round.
His buddies all chimed in and said "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning".
Christmas morning arrives and they were all on the golf course.
The first guy says "Boy, this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a big diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it".
Number two guy says "My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures".
Number three guy says "Well, my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual".
They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they all had lost their minds.
"I can't believe you all went to such an expense for this golf game. I woke up, slapped my wife on the arse and said: 'Well Babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning for either sex or golf' and she said 'Don't forget sunscreen!'".
ORSM VIDEO
| IT'S PROBABLY THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ONLINE PORN. SERIOUSLY. EVER. HERE'S WHY YOU'LL CARE |
There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of farting every morning as he awoke.
The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning. He told her that he couldn't help it. She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out".
The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husband continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one Christmas morning. Before dawn, the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast.
She fixed Christmas pudding, mashed potatoes, gravy and of course a turkey. While she was taking out the turkey's innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem.
With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent husband would awake.
While he was still soundly asleep, she pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back her husband's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into her husband's underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back downstairs to finish preparing the family meal.
Several hours later she heard her husband awake with his normal loud arse trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom.
The wife could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him she had finally gotten even.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood-stained underpants with a look of horror in his eyes.
She bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter. He said "honey, you were right - all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you".
"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well you always told me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and these two fingers, I think I got most of 'em back in".
CHRISTMAS AMATEURS: PART 22 |
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ORSM VIDEO
DIARY OF A DEMENTED SNOW SHOVELLER
DECEMBER 8
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So Romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
DECEMBER 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic Sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a Boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
DECEMBER 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a Disappointment! My neighbour tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much Snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such A nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbour.
DECEMBER 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The Temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realise I would have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
DECEMBER 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
DECEMBER 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The Wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
DECEMBER 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but Stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
DECEMBER 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shovelling! Took all day. The damn snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob Says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
DECEMBER 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
DECEMBER 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
DECEMBER 24
6 inches - snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plough, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at a 100 Miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplough.
DECEMBER 25
Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - snowed in the idea of shovelling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a frickin' idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
DECEMBER 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
DECEMBER 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
DECEMBER 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
DECEMBER 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
DECEMBER 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
DECEMBER 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling.
JANUARY 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
RANDOM SHITE: PART 2 [CHRISTMAS EDITION]
One Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand-new bike.
The cop says to the kid "Nice bike you got there, kid. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says "Yeah".
The cop says "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike".
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humouring the kid, the cop says "Yeah, he sure did".
The kid says "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top".
ORSM VIDEO
Bill woke up with a killer hangover after attending his firm's Christmas Party.
He didn't even remember how he got home. Confused he tried to gather his thoughts "It's 8.30. What day is it? Thursday. The wife must have gone to work".
As he struggled into consciousness through the fog of a pounding headache, his heart sank as he wondered what the hell he did last night.
He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked from the garden.
He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy; there was no trail of drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window and all was serene.
He stumbled to the bathroom, which was also pristine, and, squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a black eye.
This was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.
As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus, he saw a post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was written in red, with little hearts on it and a kiss from his wife. "I'll ring your office and tell them you won't be in today. Breakfast is in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed for the morning. There's sport on TV this afternoon. Take it easy today, hope your eye doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Alison. xxx"
Bill stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the newspaper.
His teenage son was sitting at the table, eating. Bill, bracing himself for the worst, asked his son what happened the previous night.
His son said "Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway. You got that black eye when you ran into the door".
Bill was confused as he asked his son "So, why is everything in such perfect order, aspirins by the bed, a nice note from Mom and breakfast waiting for me?"
His son replied "Oh, that! Well you see, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone you slapper, I'm married!!'"
CHRISTMAS AMATEURS: PART 23 |
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NORTH POLE (AP) - Amazon has announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa's summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere.
In the deal, Amazon would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Amazon will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh. The announcement also included a notice that beginning Dec 19, 2019, Christmas and the Reindeer names would be copyrighted by Amazon.
This unprecedented move was facilitated by the recently acquired North Pole Court. Amazon stated its commitment to "all who have made Christmas great" and vowed to "make licensing of the Christmas and Reindeer names available to all". It is believed that the guidelines for licensing these names, will be very strict.
When asked "Why buy Christmas?" Jeff Bezos replied "Amazon has been working on a more efficient delivery mechanism for all of our products for some time, but recognized that the Santa Sleigh has some immediate benefits. We'll use it first for the next release of the Kindle".
In a multimedia extravaganza, the attendees were shown a seemingly endless video stream of products that make up the deal. It ended with a green and red version of the Amazon logo, and a new Christmas 2019 trademark, leading into the announcement of the first product from the deal. Vixen, the new Director of Holidays and Celebrations said "The first step is to assimilate Christmas within the Amazon Organisation. This will take some time, so don't expect any changes this year". He continued "our big plans are for next year, when we release Christmas 2020. It will be bigger and better than last year". He further elaborated that "Amazon users who sign up with Amazon Prime will get sneak previews of Christmas 2020 as early as November 1st". Christmas 2020 is scheduled for release in December of 2020, though one unnamed source said that it is dangerously close to the end of the year and may slip into the first half of 2021. An economist at Goldman Sachs explained that a slip would be catastrophic to next year's economy and the nation's tax revenue, possibly requiring the IRS to move the deadline for filing income tax returns to three months after Christmas, whenever that was.
"But it could be good in the long term" he explained. "With Amazon controlling Christmas, we may see it move to May or June, which are much slower months for retailers. This may serve to even out the economy over the year". When asked if other holidays are being considered, Mr. Bezos explained that "Christmas is the flagship of holidays, so we wanted to start there. Not all holidays are available for sale, and the remaining will have to show a good long-term business" suggesting that holidays with a short history may not be in the plans.
Though specific terms of the agreement were withheld, a Santa official confirmed that the deal was "sizeable, even for a man of Santa's stature". Some analysts think that Santa has saturated the Holiday market, and is looking for a means to expand his business to year 'round products and services. Others contend that the Jolly Red Man is looking to retire in Seattle. A spokesperson for the most famous Reindeer could not be reached for comment.
RANDOM SHITE: PART 3
Previously: 12th Dec. - 5th Dec. - 28th Nov. - 21st Nov. - 14th Nov. - 7th Nov. I & II - 24th Oct. - 17th Oct. - MORE >>
| PICTURE THIS: YOU GO TO A WEBSITE. HOOK UP WITH AN ACTUAL REAL GIRL. GET A BILL FOR $0. HERE'S HOW |
A family is sitting at the dining table getting ready for a holiday feast and the son asks if he can ask a question. Dad answers: "Yes, of course, just ask!"
The young man asks his dad "Dad, how many varieties of breasts are there?" His father is a little surprised, but answers: "Well, my son, there are three varieties of breasts. At 20, the woman has breasts that are like melons, round and firm. At 30 to 40, the breasts are still like pears but hanging a little, after 50, the breasts are like onions".
"Onions?" asks the young man.
"Yes, if you see them, they make you cry!"
This misogynistic display has the mother and daughter seeing red.
So that the daughter asks "May I ask a personal question, Mama, how many types of penises are there?" Mum is a little surprised, but then she looks at her husband and answers "Well, my daughter, a man goes through three stages: at age 20, the penis is like an oak, stately and hard. At 30 to 40, the penis is like a birch, flexible but reliable, after 50 years the penis will look like a Christmas tree".
"Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root and the balls hang there just for decoration".
ORSM VIDEO
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said "You must each possess something that symbolises Christmas to get into heaven".
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle" he said.
"Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said "They're bells".
Saint Peter said "You may also pass through the pearly gates".
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied "These are Carol's".
CHRISTMAS AMATEURS: PART 24 |
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Once upon a time, just a few years ago, a man and his mother were discussing what he wanted for Christmas.
It was mid-July and the man had consumed several alcoholic beverages, so when his mother asked "Son of mine, what would thou wisheth for Christmas this year?" he misunderstood and thought she was starting some deep philosophical discussion about the meaning of life, the universe and everything.
"Mother" he said "I have always believed it is better to giveth than to receive and I worry about the poor people who will spend this Christmas without a pot to pee in or a goat to cuddle at night".
"Don't you mean a bucket to carry water and a goat to giveth them milk?" his mother replied. "Oh yeah, that too" he replied, as he opened yet another bottle of wine.
And with that, he fell into a deep slumber.
Six months later the man's family gathered around the Christmas tree to exchange presents.
The man's sister was delighted when she was handed the keys to a brand-new Ferrari.
"Oh, thank you mother! Thank you father!" she squealed.
The man's brother could hardly contain his joy at the sight of his gold Rolex watch studded with expensive stones.
Then the man's mother turned to him and said "My son, we love all our children equally but you are without doubt the most generous and caring of them all. So as you asked, we have brought a bucket and a goat for a poor family far across the ocean".
"Bloody hell" said the man, suddenly forgetting to speak like a ponce. I've gotta stop drinking on weekdays".
And everybody laughed, drank too much and fell over.
The moral of the story, boys and girls, is to remember that while it is better to give than to receive, it is also important to pay attention to your mother when she's talking.
And don't drink cheap red wine on work nights.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
ORSM VIDEO
With the Christmas Festivities upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with you all about Drinking Alcohol and Driving after a 'Social Event' with friends.
Last week, I was out at a party with some friends and ex work colleagues. I had a few shots of whisky followed by several beers. Despite my jolliness, I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before - I took a taxi home.
Sure enough, there was a police road block on the high street but, since I was in a taxi, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was both a great relief and surprise because I had never driven a taxi before. I don't even know where I got it from and now that it's outside my house, I don't know what to do with it!
RANDOM SHITE: PART 4!
To All My Left-wing and Liberal Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the summer/winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2013, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Canada and the United States great nations. Not to imply that these two countries are necessarily greater than any other country in the world. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
To my right-wing friends: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
ORSM VIDEO
And THAT is how you do a Christmas update, boys and girls.
Just want to throw out a quick and massive THANK YOU to everyone who surfed Orsm this year plus an even bigger one for all who contributed. Won't harp on it but its very much appreciated because without you guys there would be no Orsm.net.
-Follow me on Facebook. All/some of the SFW stuff you see on Orsm flows there.
-Check out the archives. ??
-Next update will not be next Thursday. I'll be anywhere except near a computer but shall return on the 2nd January!
-Tell your friends, family, colleagues, co-workers and neighbours to check out ORSM-DOT-NET otherwise my friend Ray will shit down your chimney.
-Need to clear your conscience? Judge me? Want to fight me? Threaten me? Sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that pops up? Show me the twins? Then go for it! Just make sure you email me here!
Until next time be good, stay off the chems Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm. |
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![The Mostly Avoidable Crashes [Compilation]](/thumbs/the-mostly-avoidable-crashes-compilation.jpg)
