| Finally finished school for the
year. Had 2 Cisco exams last week - theory and practical - managed
to pass em both so I am Cisco II which means after I have done 3
& 4 i'll be a CCNA type dude. Now it's holiday's until the end
of January and I plan to do very little except maybe update the
site and possibly look to buy a new car.
Everyone excited about Christmas
yet? The whole idea of it is starting to bore me already. You end
up spending a few hundred bucks on presents, alcohol and random
other social events only to top it all off with a boring Christmas
day that is usually sweltering hot AND I never seem to get any good
presents anymore.
Maybe this is just how it is after you leave
your teenage years and progress to so-called adulthood. Why can't
someone get me that 2.2Ghz Pentium 4 processor or one of those cool
little robot dogs for a change? Nup... I end up with a pair of shorts,
2 T-shirts and if I am really lucky i'll get aftershave.
The
Nasty Wedding - To
Be UN-Australian - Electric
Sex
I really cant even be bothered commenting too
much on the letter that was sent to me by that Swedish joker suffice
to say it was a pretty big troll and certainly seemed to upset a
few of you. I got tonnes of email in reply to it and there was a
shit load of comments on my lame
message board so I think I'll leave well enough alone.
Also landing in my
email lately has been a fuckload of viruses. When I say a fuckload
I mean there has been about 1000 since the beginning of the month.
Everything from Badtrans to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves to
Sircam and I am absolutely sick to fucking death of it. Do people
just not understand what a virus scanner is for??
The Priceless Vids and Mp3 Downloads are offline
again. Funyon.com simply couldnt afford to cough for the bandwidth
that you guys were generating. If anyone can help out with a coupla
hundred megs of storage and a few megabits of bandwidth then lemme
know asap.
As promised - here is a few photos of the Gate
Crasher festival thingy I went to a couple of weekends ago [and
haven't stopped talking about since]. Unfortunately we didn't get
photos of all the artists we saw but you can sort of gauge how big
the event was.
Arrival
- De
La Soul - De
La Soul - De
La Soul - Tall
Paul - Tall
Paul - Endorphin
- Departure
I've also decided to remove my Icq number from
the site. Unfortunately there are just too many dick heads out there
who contact me asking them to send them pics and generally just
fuck me off. What on earth do they think this is - some sort of
service where I provide free files on request and fullfill fantasies?
Check out this guy... feel free to click his name and tell him he
is a fag.
<Andrew>
i want to fuck your cunt till u cum all over
my face then i want u 2 blow me till i cum all over your face and
in your hair.
<Orsm> pardon me???
<Andrew>
r u into porn????
<Orsm> you are aware
that I am a guy arent you?
<Orsm> are you a fag?
<Andrew>
no now fuck off cunt!!!!!! dont ever
message me again!
Little boy and his dad go the grocery store.
"Daddy, Daddy, can I have this?" asks the little boy as
he holds up a candy bar. "Does your dick touch your ass?"
asks the dad. "No..." says the little boy. "Then
you can't have it!"
A few moments go by, and the little boy holds
up a bag of cookies. "Daddy, Daddy can we get this?" "Does
your dick touch your ass?" asks the dad. "No..."
says the boy. "Then you can't have it!"
As they're walking out the grocery store, the
little boy finds a twenty dollar bill in the parking lot. "Daddy,
Daddy look what I found!" "Alright son! Now we're gonna
split it fifty fifty right?"
"Does your dick touch your ass?"
asks the little boy. "Sure does!" says the Dad.
"Then go fuck
yourself!!"
| |
Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex
Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex
Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex - Weird
Snake Sex |
A little girl was playing in the
garden when she spotted two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are
those two spiders doing?" she asked "They're mating,"
her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?"
she asked. "That's a daddy longlegs." her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy longlegs ?" the little girl
asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are
daddy longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then
took her foot and stamped them flat. "Well, we're not having
THAT sort of poofter shit
in our garden."
Logan
Nordin wrote:
Dude....i got a picture that would blow the rest
away
My friend got really drunk one
night and we caught him having sex with his ex...not too bad you
say...well he was snoring and she was out too...He passed out with
his dick inside of her...This picture has to be worth something...but
i can't put it up on an internet site unless I pay him some $...so
i was wondering if you could help me out...
How stupid do you think I am? Ooo here's
a $1,000 dollars for the picture can I please please please have
it now? You idiot. I suppose you do have to give him some credit
for being enterprising though.
Swabb
wrote:
Your UT stripper girl from a
few days back has made another appearance @ hotornot.com.
Here's the link: http://www.hotornot.com/r/?emid=NEGEOE.
Coincidentally i am actually from the town where UT is, its in Knoxville
TN. Pretty nice college, lotta chix too. Hop ya dig it...
She was a 10 outta 10 in my books. If you missed
here you can have a scour through the November
archives or just click here.
We need to see more like her so if you have any good college girl
pics... or if you ARE a college girl send
your pics my way. Here's a couple more for y'all... anyone know
what college colours she is wearing?
Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge
one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself
off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells, "Sheila, what the
hell d'ya think you're doing?"
Sheila turns around with a tear in her
eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm
gonna kill myself."
Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he
hears this.
He says "Strewth Sheila..... Not only
are you a great shag, but you're a real sport too." And drives
off.
--------------------------------------------
Me thinks it's time to link some
quality sites. Haven't heard of some of these guys before? Probably
worth checking them out now so you can tell your friends that you
used to surf that site before it was famous or whatever...
Dgnr8
- Hcor - Bad
Sins - Fuck
Wits - Computer
Glitch - Numbchung
- Robhoran
Verbal
Discharge - Sid
Cup Massive - Procrastination
- Social
Reject
This one will probably only
make sense to the Aussie readers...
Q: What's
the definition of bad luck?
A: Sitting in Afghanistan holding
your return ticket with Ansett, which just arrived in a white powdered
laced envelope, trying to call your travel insurance company HIH
on your One.Tel mobile, and the only transport you can afford is
a dodgy boat trip via Indonesia.
Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums
Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums
Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums - Beach
Bums
The government announced today that it is changing
its emblem to a Condom because it more clearly reflects the government's
political stance: A condom stands up to inflation, halts production,
destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives
you a sense of Security while it's actually screwing you.
Boxer
Girl - Boxer
Girl - Boxer
Girl - Boxer
Girl - Boxer
Girl - Boxer
Girl - Boxer
Girl
This is what I fuckin love. People who are generous enough to pull
out the camera and take a few happy snaps of the nearest female
to send to me. It honestly
makes my day. If you feel the urge to do so then all you have to
do is send an email to webmaster@orsm.net
and there's a good chance that you'll see yourself on these very
pages. Even better - if you want to make an ORSM fan sign by scrawling
those 4 letters across your naked body I may just pledge undying
love to you.
Roger
wrote:
Suject: My Girlfriend
what up. this foxy bitch's name is
brandi, with an i. she's my girl, only 19 years old, and we live
in stockton, california. we just took these pics and are hoping
you'll put them up on your dope as web site. use one or use them
all. thanks brother, and enjoy!
Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
A man walks into a pharmacy and
wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks
him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box
of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and
a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought
you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this,
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes
and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers.
So, I figure that if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"
--------------------------------------------
It sometimes seems that all chinese people
do all day is paint their women and make scat films. These pics
lean towards the body painting side of things so for those of you
who were suddenly aroused when I mentioned the word 'scat' I apologise.
A man enters his favourite ritzy restaurant and
while sitting at his regular table, he noticed a gorgeous woman
sitting at a table nearby all alone. He calls the waiter over and
asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to
her - knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends
it over to the girl, saying this from the gentleman. She looks at
the wine and decides to send a note over to the man.
The note read: "For me to accept this bottle,
you need to have a Mercedes
in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 Inches in your
pants."
The man, after reading the note, sends
one of his own back to her and it read: "Just so you know -
I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL, and a Mercedes
560SEL in my garage; plus I have over twenty million dollars in
the bank. But, not even for a woman beautiful as you, would I cut
off three inches. Just send the bottle back."
Random Shite time. My favourite
time. No idea where you people who send
this stuff to me
find it but it's usually entertaining as all hell so don't stop!
RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
One day the first grade teacher was reading the
story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the
story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "....
and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The
sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And
what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
Now the part you have all been waiting for...
the last installment in the Aria and Kelle series - Part 5. I've
also managed to find enough web space to repost part 2.
- Aria & Kelle Part
5 - Aria & Kelle Part 2
-
... and NO that's not all I have for you.
Firstly, let's look at the fucked up non sexual category.
Cement
Mixer - Tennis
Heel - Priceless
Water Slide - Goal
Keeper - Never
Trust A Woman
... and finally the fucked up sexual category.
Piss
Bitches - Piss
Bitch - Preggers
Bitch - Rene
I'm afraid that's all I am good for this week.
It's taken me the best part of two days to get this update together
but I'm sure you'll all appreciate it. Now that holidays have kicked
in i'll be trying to update more frequently but don't hold me to
it. Have also got a big Priceless update coming up so stay tuned
for that one. Don't
forget to vote. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.
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