| This is great
for those Aussies who are away from home, and also
those that aren't! A rod to measure ourselves
by -
1. It would be Un-Australian
not to have a few beers on Australia Day.
2. It would be Un-Australian
not to observe one minute's silence on ANZAC Day.
3. It would be Un-Australian
not to give Poms as much stick as possible.
4. It would be Un-Australian
not to try and drink every Irishman you meet under
the table.
5. It would be Un-Australian
not to have owned a Speedwell pushbike at some stage
in your life.
6. It would be Un-Australian
not to secretly love the stereotypical image Paul
Hogan has portrayed for all of us.
7. It would be Un-Australian
not to tell foreign visitors that, yes indeed I do
have a kangaroo in my back yard.
8. It would be Un-Australian
not to like that endless series of VB advertisements
on television.
9. It would be Un-Australian
not to barrack for the underdog.
10. It would be Un-Australian
not to have squinted at the horizon, in the face of
another burning summer sunset.
11. It would be Un-Australian
not to have been drenched by a sudden summer thunderstorm.
12. It would be Un-Australian
not to have swallowed a fly at some stage in your
life.
13. It would be Un-Australian
not to enjoy beating the Poms at cricket, whether
you are a cricket fan or not.
14. It would be Un-Australian
not to know the words to Advance Australia Fair and
Waltzing Matilda.
15. It would be Un-Australian
not to proudly proclaim your nationality, no matter
where you were in the world.
16. It would be Un-Australian
not to be able to decipher "Avagoyabloodymugwhydontya".
17. It would be Un-Australian
not to have a jar of Vegemite in the cupboard.
18. It would be Un-Australian
not to be able to laugh at ourselves.
19. It would be Un-Australian
not to take advantage of our God given right to the
sickie.
20. It would be Un-Australian
not to have a Hills Hoist in the backyard
21. It would be Un-Australian
not to love V8's
22. It would be Un-Australian
not to call any successful New Zealanders "Aussies"
and the rest "sheep rooters".
23. It would be Un-Australian
to have not swung from a piece of rope tied to a tree
into the local river.
24. It would be Un-Australian
not to have owned a pair of thongs.
25. It would be Un-Australian
not to have a street sign with your name on it in
your bedroom or at least a flashing road work sign.
26. It would be Un-Australian
not to loudly pronounce to everyone in England that
Darren Gough is the only English cricketer for ten
years that would make the Tasmanian Sheffield Shield
side.
27. It would be Un-Australian
not to tell every foreigner that "Land Down Under"
is the national anthem.
28. It would be Un-Australian
not to tell everybody that the national anthem of
New Zealand is "God Loves New Zealand - He Gave
Them Boiling Mud".
29. It would be Un-Australian
not to tell people that New Zealand is still constitutionally
the 7th State.
30. It would be Un-Australian
to actually eat Jaffa's in the cinema.
31. It would be Un-Australian
not to have a pub where you are on a first name basis
with the staff and they don't have to ask what you
are drinking.
32. It would be Un-Australian
not to try the hardest ski slopes or rapids even though
you are a complete novice.
33. It would be Un-Australian
not to have said the line "don't worry about
me, I can handle my drink" at least once.
34. It would be Un-Australian
not to have thrown up, 2 hours after saying the previous
line.
35. It would be Un-Australian
not to have thrown up on shoes you don't own.
36. It would be Un-Australian
not to tell everybody in England about the healthy
state of all Australian sport, while sitting on your
arse in a pub drinking beer and contributing nothing
to it.
37. It would be Un-Australian
to agree with the gentleman at the door as to the
state of your inebriation.
38. It would be Un-Australian
to leave quietly.
39. It would be Un-Australian
not to stop during the Melbourne Cup.
40. It would be Un-Australian
not to have been to a day at the races and not remember
seeing a horse, at least once. |
