| Updates...
They just seem to take so fuckin long. Have been a busy bastard
over the last few weeks. I also went through and remade the ENTIRE
priceless section of my site which took a while.
come.to/priceless is NOT the url to enter the
priceless section of my site anymore. If you have bookmarked it
the change it to orsm.ii.net/priceless.
i.am/orsm url is getting tossed too - use orsm.ii.net.
Why am I going through all the drama of doing
this? Basically the i.am and come.to url's are just redirection
url's supplied by V3.com.
I have no idea why but for a while there, their url's would crash
browsers everytime someone tried going to my site.
Hopefully all the pus and pain I love putting
myself through will improve your surfing experience on my site.
Aren't I a nice guy? huh? huh? huh?
I'm trying to figure out what you guys
would prefer...
Option 1:
More Frequent site updates. i.e. two or 3 times a week. Downside:
I do smaller updates.
Option 2:
Site updates stay the same and you get a shit load of new stuff
approximately once a week. Downside: you have to wait longer between
updates.
If you scroll down the page a bit there is a
poll. Feel free to vote so I can get an idea or just email
me and lemme know what you think.
--------------------------------------------
There are a number of constants in life. Things
that will always happen. You know - you are always going to need
to breath, need to eat, sleep, shit bla blah blah. There is also
ALWAYS going to be some sort of argument, discussion, disagreement
or whatever about who gets 'shotgun'.
To those who don't know, the uninitiated, shotgun
is when you have atleast 3 people about to embark upon some sort
of journey in a car. The shotgun position is in the front, next
to the driver. Everyone always wants to sit in the front because
no one likes to be left out in the back seat.
To help combat this problem I proudly display
the new shotgun rules. These have been drafted, developed and endorsed
by the International
Shotgun Commission.
I. The Basic Rules
1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word
"Shotgun" long as the driver verifies the call.
2. Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are
outside and on the way to said vehicle.
3. Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be called
while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive immediately
forthcoming. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle
or still technically on the way
to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle
and call Shotgun for the return journey.
4. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver
has the right to suspend or remove all Shotgun privileges from one
or more persons.
II. Special Cases
These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered
in the order presented; the case listed first will take precedence
over any of the cases
beneath it, when applicable.
1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk
or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she
is automatically given Shotgun.
2. If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle
is not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless
they decline.
3. In the instance the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired
prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she
is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
4. In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill
during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she
will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun
to make appropriate use of the window.
5. In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given
location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated
navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they
decline.
6. In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall
to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy
and award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver
and other passengers may continually taunt the
poor fellow as they make a three hour trip with him crammed in the
back.
III. The Bastard
Rules
1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Bastard Rules
on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting
Rule I.4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whomever
can take it by force.
2. The driver must announce the institution of the Bastard Rules
with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces the
amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.
--------------------------------------------
Whilst I am on the subject of cars I thought
it would be a good time to post some Australian muscle car vids.
I have no idea how it works in other countries but over here you
are either a Ford [Falcon] Boy or a Holden [Commodore] Boy. I'm
a Ford boy and have been for years but the Holden's still kick ass!
Either way - have some kick ass vids of them smokin it up!
Falcon
EL XR8 - Commodore
VT GTS - Commodore
VT Club Sport
Yeah these pics have been around forever
but they are pretty bloody funny. Why men die young....
Why
Men Die Young - Why
Men Die Young - Why
Men Die Young - Why
Men Die Young
A young family moved into a house next door to
a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building
a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 6 year old daughter naturally
took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started
talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction
crew - gems in the rough all of them - more or less adopted her
as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them
while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs
to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented
her with a pay envelope containing a dollar; which the girl took
this home to her mother, who said all the appropriate words of admiration
and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to
the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the teller was equally
impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come
by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I've
been working with a crew building a house all week".
"My goodness gracious", said the teller,
"and will you be working on the house again this week too"?
The little working girl replied, "I will if those useless cocksuckers
at the lumber yard ever bring us the fucking bricks".
--------------------------------------------
I don't know whether to love it or hate it. The
Australian version of Big
Brother. I really cant stand that festy fat bitch Sara-Maree.
I want her out! She's made out that she is some sort of upper management
at a local strip club but as it turns out, she is just the slut
that stands at the door and charges admission. Comments
anyone? Send
em my way.
--------------------------------------------
Mail mail mail...
This whole Canada Vs USA thing has got to stop.
Fuck - I don't even know what you guys are on about anymore. I am
having enough trouble figuring out if the sender is a Yank or Canuck.
I feel like I have been reduced to a medium for two countries [that
I have never been to] to thrash out their differences.
That's not what this site is about. It's about
laughing at morons in Priceless Pictures
or finding that Mp3 you have been looking
for or watching fucked up videos. So on
that note this is the last of the shit load of email I have received
on the subject that I will be posting.
Jerry
wrote:
Subject: Canadians
Unfortunately, not all Canadians (much like any nationality),
have their asses on straight.
Both Dennis Roy and Kevin seem like
numb-nuts, in that neither seem to know what is going on (note to
Canadian dimwit: Sympatico server area is about 18 million people
in Ontario AND Quebec. Note to Aussie dimwit: Canada was a haven
for the poor from the UK promised free land, not convicted criminals).
In my opinion, Aussies and Canadians,
of all nationalities separated by such geography, are the most alike.
Our roots are much the same (colonies), which still persist into
our governmental systems. As well, when Australia was voting to
oust the monarchy, Canada was also on the verge, and decided not
to, after what happened in Australia.
Each time I have been travelling,
be it in the US, Europe, or my own backyard, I find that Australians
share a very similar cultural opinion, with the obvious idiot exceptions.
So ignore the idiots, be they from Canada, Australia,
the United States, or anywhere else, and keep up the great site!
Philleas Fogg
wrote:
Subject: America, Canada & their inhabitants
You guys in Australia have little
to feel bad about, you have fought hard and risen above the criminal
ancestry, and I think the whole world should realise that you did
your time a long time ago. You have learned to live in harmony with
the original inhabitants of your continent, for which you should
be commended. You have negociated your graduation into an independance
with a grace which demonstrates maturity and responsibility and
the only thing you now have to conquer is an ability to live in
harmony with the planet...
...Americans and Canadians, on the
other hand, are the religious trash which Europe didn't want...
and for the most part, they still are.
Kevin
wrote:
Subject: Kevin from Canada responds...
What an international incident I have unleashed on
your website!
I want to apologize to all the Aussies I may have
offended by my "Convicts-may-spoil-your-family-reunion"
remarks.
My statements were meant to be taken
as light humour, and I'd be happy to fly all you Aussies to Canada
and make amends by treating you all to a round of Canadian beer...as
soon as you are released from prison...or you figure out how to
read an airline ticket. Actually...Canadian border cops wont let
any Aussies in...unless you are Paul Hogan...or you have relatives
who are imprisoned in Canada.
Now everyone shut the hell up about
the damn Aussies and there damn criminal family trees and let Orsm
spend his time posting more priceless stuff and pics of Aria.
Kevin from Canada
ps All yanks must die.
pps except maybe Gillian Anderson....
ppps Ok...and maybe Stephen King.
pppps But that's it....kill them all....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
ppppps I would to apologize for the above remarks. They were in
fact made by
"Bill", one of my alternate personalities. He's usually
harmless..unless
some Yank upsets him...or Manchester United loses.......
... and finally.
Numb
wrote:
Subject: Canada always the best place to live, God Says...
Hey Mr. Orsm,
Here a little something got on the
web. If somebodywants to shit on me concerning this, please do so
at my new adress: davenath@yahoo.ca
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went
missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel
found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where
have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and
proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael,
look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What
is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and
I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to
be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael,
still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth,
"For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity
and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle
East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent
of white people and over there is a continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will
be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered
in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed
to a large land mass in the top corner and asked, "What's that
one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's
Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful mountains,
lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast-line. The people from
Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're
going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable,
hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to
give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will
be admired and feared by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed.
"What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth
bastards I'm putting next to them."
--------------------------------------------
These are pictures of delicious lesbians. The
best of both worlds too. A brunette lesbian and a blonde lesbian
doing what comes naturally when two chicks are left alone together...
munchin rug.
Blondette
- Blondette
- Blondette
- Blondette
- Blondette
- Blondette
- Blondette
- Blondette
--------------------------------------------
Recently, 3 hikers were walking in the wilderness
of northern Alberta. The day was nice, the sun shining and everyone
was in generally good spirits.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere they were viciously
attacked by a ferocious mountain cat which struck with the speed
of lightning, slashing and devouring the three unwary hikers.
Some time later, game wardens stumbled across
the grisly scene and noticed that one of the hikers had managed
to snap a picture of the beast before being killed. They quickly
brought the camera back to the lab and had the film developed so
they could get an idea of what they were dealing with....
...to this day, the picture haunts them
to the bone.
- Mountain
Cat -
--------------------------------------------
Sometimes it makes me wonder if the people that
read my site want to know what I look like. For me however, it's
one of those things that I just wouldn't feel comfortable with everyone
knowing. On the other hand I feel like I kind of owe it to you guys
SO I'll meet you all half way. Check out this embarrassing video
of me that was taken about a week ago.
- Orsm
-
FOOTBALLER SENT OFF FOR USING MOBILE
A Romanian footballer was sent off for
stopping a national third division game to answer his mobile.
Iulica Traznea of Locomotiva Buzau was playing
in a match against rivals Victoria Valea Ramnicului when the phone
rang. He then spent five minutes trying to sell one of the lambs
from his farm to a prospective buyer.
Eventually the referee sent him off, and
the club is now preparing disciplinary action against him.
A disgruntled Traznea said: "If they
paid us enough in the first place we would not have to get involved
in other things."
--------------------------------------------
.... making some loser kiss your ass -
PRICELESS!!
--------------------------------------------
Ever wanted to see pics of an ugly naked bitch
standing next to a vending machine? Well you have come to he right
place. If you were ever unlucky enough to be going to a vending
machine and finding someone like this, I can guarantee that you
wouldn't be hungry for much longer.
Vend-a-Bitch
- Vend-a-Bitch
- Vend-a-Bitch
- Vend-a-Bitch
- Vend-a-Bitch
--------------------------------------------
WHAT PORNO FILES WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will
not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with
her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with
sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take
his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and
the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you
if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman
by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of
you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him
to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for
all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's
trouser and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one
hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other
proudly on his hip.
Crazy shit on the web anyone? Check out
these bits and pieces.
I have no idea what the hell this
is about but it did make me laugh. Not so much because it is
hilarious but because I can imagine how much money was spent on
drugs for someone to come up with this.
And this one - I am about 99% sure that this
guy is NOT for real. Check out the site though, it's some pretty
fuckin funny shite.
--------------------------------------------
This weeks random shite is proudly brought
to you by absolutely none other than me!!
Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
- Shite
--------------------------------------------
A psychiatrist was conducting a group
therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.
'You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You
are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your
obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name,
Penny."
At this point, the third mother got up,
took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick,
let's go.
--------------------------------------------
Now for the rest of today's vids. There was a
extreme amount of effort required to figure out exactly what I would
post. I thought I would try and cover a number of different topics/areas/genres/fetishes
today so strap yourselves in and prepare for some sick shit.
The first vids sort of went hand in hand with
eachother. The first one honestly gave me nightmare. I can't watch
it. Anyone else who is a Carpenter or a Cabinetmaker [like I used
to be!]may dislike it more than most other too. And with the second
one - there isn't a guy in the world who'll enjoy it....
Chop
1 - Chop
2
The rest of em just kick ass.....
Fuck
Me In The Ass, Bob! - Welcome
To Gush City - Kick
Me In The Nuts! HARD!
Lactating
Nipples - Got
Piss? - That's
Gotta Hurt! - Get
The Fuck Outta My Way!
And this weeks award for the single most
fucked up shit I have seen goes too:
- WRONG!
-
[If some of the vids don't work properly you
may need the DivX Codec - get it here]
--------------------------------------------
Orsm Chain Mail: Make sure you and atleast 10
friends click
here or you will be run over by a pink truck in the not too
distant future.
Email Me.
Forum-ise yourself.
Vote.
Enjoy. Mr. Orsm. |
