| I almost feel like I've got writers
block at the moment. Not that what I've got to say is all that important
and I know you all don't hang on my every word. Sat down to do an
update and felt a little confused as to what it was that you guys
may wanna see this week so apologies if this update blows. Whatever...
Anyways, I've been working overtime
on this new design for my site. I wouldn't say it's going to be
ground breakingly spectacular or anything but it'll definitely make
life easier for me when it comes to updates and shit like that.
I'm also planning a few other major changes that'll see give me
the ability to make the site much bigger, much faster. Content is
king and it's all coming.
Everyone been following the Winter
Olympics? It's good to see the Aussies won 2 Gold Medals albeit
by default. Most of what I've seen has been pretty lame except for
that Apolo Ohno dude. Big respect for him, just unlucky he got wiped
out on the home stretch for the Gold if you ask me.
I got a good laugh out of this
letter. Also, I had
this sent my way... never heard of this sort of thing before
but wouldn't you need a shit load of alcohol in the tub to actually
get any effect?
Bored at work? Need something
to help ease your stress? This should help...
- Stress
Tool -
If you're wondering where the last update went
- you can find it
here. Absolutely choc-a-block full of stuff to keep you amused.
Make sure you surf the archives
too. Literally thousands of pics and other random shite to keep
you from being even remotely productive today.
Looking for the entire Aria & Kelle series
still? Believe it or not, all 7 parts are still online. Don't forget
that if you are having problems playing them then check the site
help.
- The
Aria & Kelle Series -
| LA FEMME NIKITA
Any La Femme Nikita fans out there? Spy/terrorist
drama based on a french film of the same name directed by
Luc Besson that stars Australian Peta Wilson. I've pretty
much been a loyal viewer since it first aired. 100% addicted.
Never ever miss an episode type of deal. Such a shame that
series' 3 and 4 boasted decent actors and characters, excellent
music and a good story line, then seemingly to throw all that
away for the final 12 episodes. Any other LFN fans out there
agree/disagree...?
Peta
Wilson - Peta
Wilson - Peta
Wilson - Peta
Wilson - Peta
Wilson
Peta
Wilson - Peta
Wilson - Peta
Wilson - Peta
Wilson |
|
Akmed came to the United States from the Middle
East, and he was only here a few months when he became very ill.
He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.
Finally, he went to an Arab doctor.
The doctor said, "Take dees bucket, go into
de odder room, shit in de bucket, piss on de shit, and den put your
head down over de bucket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."
Akmed took the bucket, went into the other room,
shit in the bucket, pissed on the shit, bent over and breathed in
the fumes for ten minutes.
Coming back to the doctor he said, "It
worked. I feel terrific! What was it?"
The doctor said, "You were
homesick."
Andreas
wrote:
Subject: Wanker of the Year
I'm at a red traffic light with my
motorbike (CBR-900) and I'm warming it up. Some sucker in a hot-rod
stops beside me, eyeing me like it's a race. I eye him back, shake
my head and got on with warming up. The stupid fuck's going frantic
with over-reving and then, just before the light went green, he
steps on the gas and shoots forward….. and into a passing police
car. The cop in the passenger seat went right through the windshield.
The other two didn't even take the time to drag him out of the wreckage,
they just kept punching him through the window.
Now, if somebody makes you like
coppers, he's gotta be a wanker. Definitely my wanker of the year.
-------------------------------------------
Every day millions of images
go to your brain, but only some of these are focused. To prove this,
stare at the pictures and try to find the CAR in the shortest time.
Typical Results:
- average time for the man: 12.46 minutes
- average time for the woman: 1.23 seconds
Optical
Test 1 - Optical
Test 2 - Optical
Test 3 - Optical
Test 4
-------------------------------------------
<address with held>
wrote:
Suject: Wanker of the year
My vote for wanker of the year
goes to the monkey that did this to my car. Trashed, fucked, rooted,
nuked, thrashed and slaughtered. Crazy Baby....
- Celica
-
Wanna see more of Perth girl Holly Ryder?
She emailed me a
while back offering to do a shoot exclusively for my site
but I have to come up with some $$$ to pay for it. Easier
said than done. Poor old me is just a student and I NEED
SIGN UP'S to some of the following sites... or just click
some damn banners around the site!
porno
ground - huge
boobs - ultra
video - titty
max - anal
valley - asians
|
|
Les Hardy
wrote:
Subject: Wanker of the Year - Revenge
ORSM,
This is not an entry for Wanker of the Year, but a way to pay them
back.
Next time someone is sitting right on your clack (tailgating), as
you're driving along and you're in the right hand lane, when you
come to an island with a turning lane in it, drift slowly into the
turning lane, not all the way, just like half the car width, then
at the last minute, swing back to the left and just carry on. The
wanker is usually concentrating on the arse of your car trying not
to hit you and cannot react quick enough and ends up going up the
island collecting the keep left sign on the way and doing some damage
to their front end.
Don't know where you would stand with the "Old Bill" with
this one but Hey! its not your fault they're a total toss pot and
cannot drive properly.
Sorry for continuing the "road rage" theme for wanker
of the year, but they deserve it most, lets not go near the stupid
c$%#ts with the 4WD (Toorak Tractors - didn't know a good WA euphemism
for them) that pull out in front of you when the entire road behind
is clear and then accelerate at the rate of a herd of turtles stampeding
through peanut butter!
Good email. Raises a lot of pertinent points.
First up, I generally drive like that anyways. As a 4WD owner, I
admit that I've sucumbed to the "I'm
in a bigger car than you so I can do what I want" metallity
but rightfully so in my opinion. If you own a big car you'll know
what I mean.
As far as the stupid cunts in 4WD's comment -
cant argue that. Read above. Do people not realise that it works
both ways though? Have lost count of the times some wanker in front
of me has jammed on the brakes at the last second to turn a corner.
It's a fuck load harder to pull up 2.5 tonnes of car as opposed
to some little
buzz box piece of shit. One day someones going to push me too
far and get a nasty suprise when I push
them off the road and keep driving...
-
WANKER OF THE YEAR SUBMISSIONS GO HERE!! -
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk,
they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her
around his apartment, she sees that his bedroom is completely packed
with sweet cuddly Teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute, small bears on a shelf all
the way along the floor. Cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little
higher and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is kind of surprised that this guy
would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so
extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and is quite
impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss... and then they
rip off each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.
After an intense night of passion with this sensitive
guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls
over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The man says, "You can pick any prize
from the bottom shelf."
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside
the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little
red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose
tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's
helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter
walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire
truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks,"
the girl says.
The fire fighter looks a little closer
and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and
to the cat's testicles. "Little Partner," the fire fighter
says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck,
but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think
you could go faster." The little girl replied, "You're
probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren"
Link Bitches... the following sites have emailed
me at one time or another requesting some link action. So
did this fuck stick... no link for him unfortunately...
Toowoomba
Ravers - Nikki
Snylons - Dance
Tones - Planet
Krishna - Drizunk
Ass
Down - Dirty
Mofo - Gun Munkys
- Funny Shit
- Smoking Frogs
... couple of cool 404's for y'all to check out too.
project-euh.com - 3drealms.com - spacegirl.org - hysteric.12inch.com - wrybread.com
WOMENS LIB INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE
The first speaker, a lady from England stood
and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being
more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference, I
went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer
cook for him and that he would have to do it himself.
After the first day, I saw nothing. The second
day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had cooked
a wonderful roast lamb." (The crowd cheered).
The second speaker from Russia, stood up and
said, "After last year's conference, I went home and told my
husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do his laundry and that he
would have to do it himself. The first day, I saw nothing. After
the second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that
he had done not only his own washing, mine as well." (The crowd
again cheered).
The third speaker, an aboriginal lady, stood
up and said, "Afta lass year's conference, I wen home and tole
dat lazy husban of mines, dat I was thru pickin up his beer cans
and washing his undaweah and dat he was goin to haf to do dem himself.
(The crowd went wild with cheering and clapping that lasted for
five long minutes).
She continued, "Afta da first day, I nevah
see nuffing. Afta da second day I nevah see nuffing, but afta da
fird day, I could see a little bit outa my leff eye."
If you're anything like me you'll love a good
brain teaser. The satisfaction attained from a few minutes of stretching
the brain to work out an intruiging puzzle is somthing that's hard
to come by. The following 'teasers' are sure to push the limits
of your genius...
Brain
Teaser - Brain
Teaser - Brain
Teaser - Brain
Teaser - Brain
Teaser - Brain
Teaser - Brain
Teaser
Random Shite anyone? Click the links and be dazzled
by some of the best crap the internet has to offer...
Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite
Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite
Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite - Random
Shite
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies
who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport
was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to
do.
Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something
to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can
drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour
themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely
smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised
at how good he feels, in fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad
side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings...It's Jim. Jim says,
"Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I
feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too.
You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel
is great stuff - no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more
often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing..."
"Have you farted yet?"
"No..."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in
PHOENIX!
|
|
ORSM EXCLUSIVE
Secret videos were released this week
sent exclusively to orsm.ii.net. The source - The Taliban
in Afghanistan. Looks like they mean business this time too...
Tali-Tubbie
- Tali-Tubbie |
A couple, both aged 78 went to a sex therapist's
office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The
man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished,
the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have
intercourse," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple
would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay
the doctor, then leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly
what are you trying to find out?" The old man said, "We're
not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to
her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday
Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50,
and I get $43 back from health insurance."
-------------------------------------------
As this update winds to a close I think it's
only fair to continue with the free stuff onslaught and post a shit
load of video. So let the onslaught begin I guess...
Ashleys
Judd's Vagina Slip - The
Ultimate Deodrant - Angry
Bull
... and now for the more
voyeuristic
type video that I know you will all love.
Public
Fuck - Daring
Upskirt - Hidden
Shower Cam
| Jessica Biel. You probably know her
from everybodys television favourite [puke], '7th Heaven'.
She's the bad-girl just begging to be undressed and seduced
like the Priest's daughter that she is. Here she is scantily
clad for your sinfull eyes...
- Jessica
Biel - |
|
Tiz all from me, folks. Hope you've enjoyed the
plethora of free shit and managed to kill a few minutes. I've got
a stack of Priceless Pics that i'll add next update so check back
soon. Until then - be good, stay off the chems and don't
forget to vote! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.
|
