A handsome young man walks into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume. He introduces himself as Penis Van Lesbian. The agent reviews the young man's slim resume and says, "You have the obvious good looks and excellent demeanour of an actor. I think you could go far. Have you had any roles that I might be aware of."

"Other than high school plays, no sir," says the young man.

"I know the reason-it's your name," says the agent. "Penis Van Lesbian is a name that will hold you back. I'd love to represent you, but you'll have to change your name."

"Sir," the young man replies, "Penis Van Lesbian was my father's, my grandfather's and his father's name. I will not change it for any reason."

"If you won't change your name, I cannot represent you," says the agent.

With that, Penis Van Lesbian leaves the agent's office never to return.

Five Years Later...

The agent arrives at his office and shuffles through his mail. He opens an envelope and removes a letter. A check for $50,000 drops onto his desk. He reads the letter:

Dear Sir: Several years ago you refused to represent me unless I changed my name from Penis Van Lesbian. Later, I thought about it and I decided your advice might be a good idea after all. But instead of completely changing my name, I abbreviated it, still keeping the flavour of the original.

Now I am a rich and famous actor, known to millions worldwide. I owe you a debt of gratitude for your advice, so please accept this check with my humble thanks-for it was your idea which has brought me to such wealth and fame.

Very Sincerely Yours, Dick Van Dyke