Warren wrote:
Subject: My ex girlfriend
I have an ex who i was with for at least 6 months. I have since broken up with her and she's after me like a sick puppy. She claims she is in love with me but i know she is mistaken. She thinks the reason i left is because of what her sister told me about her but in reality she was having an affair behind my back. As such i would like you to feature her pics on your glorious site. I also have two letters she wrote me for i don't know what reason. She's a psycho!

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LETTER #1:

My dearest Warren,

Once again you walked out on me without giving me the chance to hear you out to say what i need to say, yet this time you had so shocked and speechless over it. All i could remember was that you got pissed over how i got the xbox and you got upset and left and told me that you want a picture of the both xbox side by side and next thing i get a call from you sayin it's " OVER" and you hung up.

This is not meant to be an explaination or a "hope letter" it is based on things that i want you to know, things that i felt i should have gotton the chance to say, but i know you so well that when your upset no one can talk to you, there no explaination someone can give you. I am doing this because i want you to know that ( even though in your book am a lier) i didnt lie to you. I know that you still didnt allow yourself to trust me when you gived me that second chance and you already had doubts in your mind about me and things didnt seem to made sense to you that sunday with the xbox, thats why you felt that i lied you, but i want to you that i didnt. The day you gived me that second chance to prove that i have changed, that i did learn from losing you, that i know what life without the love of my life is like, trust me warren its something i swear to myself i never wanted to go back to. I knew what i was losing and what i was going back to the moment i told you a lie.

The XBOX

I had asked lisa to get me the xbox when she was in New York, because it was around the same time i asked you if you wanted me to do that. I asked her to get it for you and i would deposit back the $200.00US back in her account ( i didnt want you to that part). Lisa end up buying in best buy and said she would send it with her friend, but i had bought your xmas gift and my thing from Victoria Secrets so she didnt have the space to bring it, so my aunty came old yrs day and she brought it. But since we had broken up and you said dont drop anything for you i just end up keepin it.

That sunday you were texting lisa from my phone, you asked her " where she bought the xbox for ME", she asked " what you talking about ?" because i never asked her to buy an xbox for me, i asked for to buy it for you, that why i was going to text her " warren says thanks for getting him the xbox".

Warren, its comes as if you asked Reshma to get a xbox for me and then i came and ask her where she bought the xbox for you, she would wonder the same thing becuase she knew she was paid to buy a xbox for me, not you.

Warren, because of what happen becuase of the xbox lisa ( not saying my sister becuase she & i had it out) got really pissed becuase she felt that i made her look like a lier infront of you and she dont like to be in those things. Also she said ( dont know how true) she emailed you telling you why she was confused about it, then she also got pissed cos i kept saying that i didnt lie to you and i dont know what to do to make to understand that i honeslty didnt, that i wont lie knowing that i would lose you. I guess that she was hurt to know that even though she told you that it was a misunderstanding in what and how you asked her about the text, you still felt that i lied, so she said that she once again emailed you ( dontk now if its true) that she will tell you want you felt is the truth, that even though she told you the truth, you still believe it to be a lie, then she will tell you what you believe.

When she told me she did that, i was so hurt and upset with her becuase she should have just left it alone, but she told me that if you believe it to be lied as of how i got the xbox then so be it, there's nothing we can do to change that, we and our parents know that she did buy it in best buy along with a camera for me, that she we ever talk should him the Master Card statement and he will see.

Am sorry that lisa send you that last email, please excuse her she was just upset that she was being dragged into something she didnt lie about.

I KNEW BETTER THIS TIME NOT TO LIE:

Warren, believe me, trust me when i say that i UNDERSTAND why you would guard yourself from me, why you would think more than twice with me, becuase i hurt you once and you have always said to me that i started with no trust with you, that i had to gain it, and i gained a little and i lost it all when i lied to you and such the reason we broke up last year.

That saturaday night you texted me and said that we need to talk, you have no clue how i felt, i felt as if i got life back, that you wanted to talk to work it out. That night i told myself that this time no matter what he says to do, give up just do it, because in the end he's more than worth it, that no matter what it is to be honest with him. I told myself that i wouldnt say a lie to you becuase only i knew what i had to face everyday, everymoment and every second without you, no one knows how i felt those wks not talking to you, and now i got a text saying that you willing to give us a chance.

Warren, i can put my life on the line and say that the moment i kissed you that sunday and sat on of you and held you after so long, i PROMISED myself never would i leave this, never would i put what i have on the line over a lie becuase no matter what, i dont have a life without you. The moment you came back in mylife was the day i started living again.

Warren, everytime you see me dont you see how my face lights up, everytime you drive into the back to park home and you come out the car i jump al over you and you always say " behave your wild self", that everytime we in th car i always have to "touch you" cos i want to " make sure it there" lol. You dont know what happiness and joy you bring into mylife, just being with you, lying in bed with you, making out silly " not real jokes".

Since i talkin about that, i want to clear up something with you. The wkend in Hyatt, that morning we were in bed hugging and i was kissing you all over, the joke you made about " i know what to do with my next girlfiend", warren something about that joke hurt me, i was crying when i was in the shower. I know we make jokes about " ian being my man" and " what time gabby come over" and " your friends with benefits" but we both know those are " no real jokes" but the " next girlfriend" one hurt and i acted on it. I I hope you understand.

The point is, i know that reason we broke up the frist time was because of ME, because of my lies to you, and i really suffer losing you and i honeslty did learn from it becuase you are my everything and i had always asked God that the day i get you in life again, i'll never let you go. So, warren i had everything to lose had i lied to you, and i knew that the day you give me a second chance and that was something i didnt want to lose. Am telling you that i didnt lie to you over the xbox or anything else.

THERE'S WONT BE ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP LIKE OUR'S

Warren, there wont be another relationship like what we had. How would i ever get another relaionship like what we shared? There's is not another warren out there for me. We had it ALL warren, i got to know what you were goin when i wasnt infront your face, like wise you also did, i got to see you everyday, you got to come into my room and i got to "try" and cook for you. We got to be left home alone, i got to go away with you on the wkends.Everything with us was equal, money was NEVER a issue or a problem, becuase we both have and we both know we dont want from each other, that what i LOVE, it was always fair with us, like when we go movie town, you get the tickets and i will get the food, or like the wkend we went Hyatt, it was half and half on the bill( but since when, it always deal with the Hyatt bill cos we end up writtin it off as a business thing), and the friday you spend your money on getting food and bread and all those things, i did the paying when we went Movie Town, and the best thing is we already have that understand with each other and it was a understand that was never said, we just knew, where will i get that again? No where. Where will i get someone who i can make the silly jokes with, and be myself, and ask and say the dumb things like " bufflow wings are from bufflows?" Where will i get someone who will want to be on the phone with me all day, will wake me up at 7AM till 5pm and then stay with me when i fall asleep on the phone. Who will call me wrinky or mukesh or magawite and all the many many different names you come up with daily.
I got the world with you, you gived me a new life. Where would i ever find a love like our's. A love like that and a relationship like our's comes once in a lifetime.

WHY I DID WHAT I DID, WITH THE VALIUM:

I know that a part of you may have thought that i did that for your attention, for you to call and come back to me, but no i didnt. I really did learn that i cant do things to get you attention, i learn that the hard way the last time and when i told you i will NEVER repeat the same mistake twice i was being honest to you.
Losing you the frist time i accepted that becuase it was my fault, but losing you the second time wasnt something that i did and that is something that i cant and still cant accept. The hurt and the pain was getting to be to much and i couldnt take it, i wasnt eating, sleeping, working, just in bed or walking around the house like the lving dead crying, and all i could think about is, how do i move from this? how do i not miss him? How do i get over the fact that you were in my home everyday, in my room, we made love in room, we went away alone for the wkend, those are thing that i never did with anyone and i always told myself the day those thing happen is with the man i will spend my forever with it. Now the man i want to spend forever with walked out on me, who do i start gettin over that, i couldnt warren, i just couldnt and know that you wont never talk to me again and you told me to move one and find someone that am already out your life, all those thing killed me that friday evening, i could bear it. Also it hurt me to see how my parents was feeling see me suffering and my dad feelin gulity that he felt that he is part to blame for you walking out becuase he was only callin me. I could keep doin that to them, i didnt want to be around for the day you changed your cell, i didnt want to be a nag by texting you and i just could live with out.

I know that ppl who try to kill themself are weak ppl who feel that there's no end to the suffering that they are going through. I know i should have been smartier than that that what i did was the dumbest thing i ever did, but no one will ever know what i was feeling or what i was going through, yet it dont make what i did right. The fact the it didnt kill me mean that am not ready to die yet.

My love, what was written above was what i have in heart that i wanted you to know. I want you to know that no matter where life many take us, know that should you deciede to be back into my life as a friend or more the door is always open for you, becuase i always told you that you will be the last man i love and make love to. In my heart i know that the love we had i will never find it so am not goin to waste my time looking.

Know that the simple girl who changed to fit your life is still here and will go no where. My machine is still upstairs and wont move ever, still away from my family, dont really go out that much, just drop jay to school and pick him up, still wont go back to the make-up and dress up, all those things are things of the past for me.

Remember i told you am no longer going online again. Well i havent, didnt check my email since that last email i send you, havent even gone on trinituner, but i gived you the password to the account so you would know that am not lying to you. I have nothing and never had anything to hide from you.

LETTER #2:

Once again you walked out on me without giving me the chance to say what i need to say, yet this time you had so shocked and speechless over it. its EVERYTHING you should know, from what COULD NEVER tell you, to what i know you already

Happy Valentine's, i know that is best not to send this, but not because we are no longer together mean the love is still not there...

SHOULD YOU COME BACK, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO HAPPEN:, should you ever come back into my life, i want it to be US and only US, no family, not even my parents brother cousins, no one. I want us to get that apt that we were looking and talking about, so we would have our place to go to every evening and stay with each other on the wkends, and you can even move in there if you wish, i wont make a fuss like i did before. but you know it got to be a nice place, in a nice safe area. Am asking you to put this into some thought. I have already run this pass my mom and dad and they okay with me stayin over with you on the wkends..

I NEVER HAD ANYTHING TO HIDE FROM YOU:

In the begining of our relationship i told you it all, about my ex and how i was close to my family, that i never cared for friends that my cousin was my best friend. i told you it all i never had the reason to have to hide anything from you and i never did. Remember the time you stayed over when my parents where out the country? U used my car to go to work a few times, warren if i had something to hide or i was a "limer" then dont you think ppl would have seen my car park up by SSL, even worst i came to see you everymorning and at lunch am so so sure if i was a "wel known" person out there, my car would be as well, but i told you i wasnt. We made a deal that should anyone come and tell you, with proof anything about me that's its " my ass to find" i think that should still stick, because i know to myself am not a person like that.

WELL NEVER GO BACK TO WHO I ONCE WAS:
that friday we were cuddling up in the living, you said " the person you once were" you really touch me with that becuase it felt so good to know that you noticed that i was no longer the person you meet on the 24th August 08, that you did see how you changed me. You opened my eyes to a different way of life and i fell so in love with that, the same way i fell so in love with you.

I changed to fit your life, to be a part of the way you live and i ended up feel far more comfortable with who i have been come through you, and as each day goes by i become a far better person, all because of you. I believe that its because of you that i am the person i am today and only you should have all rights to that, no one else. Am happy with the person i am, working upstairs, being out of everyone way, its nice guess the only thing missing is you not being on the phone with me callin me the silly names.

I WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP ALOT MORE FOR YOU:
when i met you we were different ppl, yet as i got to know you and know the person you are i did change for you becuase i knew that in the end it would have been all worth it and it was. I would have given up even more for you because i know your a good person. Even though we not together the things you asked me to do i will still respect it and do it. My machines are still upstairs ( it wont move ), i only work for my dad, i even sold him my 2 embroidery machines and got a higher salary which is better, since you no longer in my life i didnt see the need for a car that i only use to drop jay to school and pick him up, so i asked my mom to take over the payments of the car and she can have it, so we agreed on that, honestly it didnt make sense to be paying 3grand a month on a car i wont be using, it just dont make any sense for me have it now since i wont be needing car cos you not there to come meet.

NOTHING CAME BEFORE YOU, NOT EVEN MY WORK: i cant believe you would think that i put my work before you, babe i know you said that only because my dad was only harrassin me to do those names for him, and i know you know i never put anything or anyone before you, you know i put you frist before anything else. Let's just say i did put my work before you, then why else would i come see you everymorning and be starting work all 10am and then driving bach out at 12.30 to meet you at 1PM till 2PM, if my work WAS so important and i DID put it infront of you then babe, i wont have been doin that everyday. But i know there's no need to say that cos i know you know i put you frist in mylife. I always use to tell Alice and lucille that your my boss man, that what u say goes.

I KNOW YOU FELT THE SAME WAY FOR ME TOO:
i know that you felt the same way for me as i did with you. I know this because if you didnt you wont have wonder if you made the right choice by really ended it with us last year, if you didnt really truly care about me such thoughts wont have been in your mind. You were at my home everyday, everyday after work and on the wkend early, you know it was as if we were married, the only difference is that we just slept in our own beds. We had to see each other every morning, and at lunch, you held my hand when we were driving ( aww) you would take me away i wanted to go, you even came with me in Pennywise, and you had to know what i was doing every second you werent front of me, and mostly you give me the chance to change into what you wanted and i did.

WHAT I AM GOING TO MISS, THAT BECAME A PART OF ME.
Losing you and what we share is losing myself. Am going to miss feeding you in bed, holding your hands when you were driving, touchin you when you were driving making you say " dont touch me", loving u up and kissing you when u driving. Will miss seing you everymorning, at lunch and in the evening. Missing having dinner with you, cuddling in bed watchin Crime Watch and now, playing Mortal Combat VS DC, falling sleep watchin movies with you, have you hug me when you fall asleep and just knowing and on the phone with you all day.

ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS:
All i wanted was to make up for what i put you thought last year, that lie costed me everything and i did see what i did and i did learn from itand never did i wanted to lose you again

My love, what was written above was what i have in heart that i wanted you to know. I want you to know that no matter where life may take us, know that should you deciede to be back into my life as a friend or more the door is always open for you, becuase i always told you that you will be the last man i love and make love to. In my heart i know that the love we had i will never find it so am not goin to waste my time looking.

Know that the simple girl who changed to fit your life is still here and will go no where. My machine is still upstairs and wont move ever, still away from my family, dont really go out that much, just drop jay to school and pick him up, still wont go back to the make-up and dress up, all those things are things of the past for me.

Remember i told you am no longer going online again. Well i havent, didnt check my email since that last email i send you, havent even gone on trinituner, but i give you the password to the account so you would know that am not lying to you. I have nothing and never had anything to hide from you.

You mean the world to me, I cant bear to see myself without you, having the though of living without you, is something unnatural to me. We have been at it for 6 months, the best in mylife.

We argue and fight, we scream and we cry, and even after all that we have true love. You and i are like the moon and night sky. We are perfect together, but some hate us yet we have true love within each other and everyday it's stronger. Place your hand in mine and never let go and will do the same. A promise we have made, to love each other always. Together forever is what i want, i hope it's the same for you. never will i leave you, till the day that we are apart by death, and even then immortal we will remain.

I know that i told you i dont live on hope anymore ( yeah, right i only said that so i can sound as strong as you) but hopes and dreams is all that i have. It's so hard to let go of something that means everything to me, that i live my life for, that what we share is what gets me through the day. I is becoming hard to accept the reason for us not being together, for you not being right next to me in bed right now hugging me and sleeping or me being in your arms falling asleep watching a movie. Why are not not here? you not being here seems as if something is missing.

Am sorry but i dont think i could accept us not being with each other, this time, because i know that i didnt lie to you and it was only if i lied you were suppose to walk out on me. You say we fought of the same things, well as i said above what would be best should you come back in mylife and honeslty i felt if we had done that when we got back together again, we surly wont have fought over the same thing. Can you atleast think about that part? And also by doing that we could be together on wkend ( than going Hyatt, but i still would want to go Hyatt) and we would be out of everyone way. All am asking is for you to put a little thought into that. As for the lying, i NEVER did, i NEVER did from the moment i got that chance and i will NEVER lie to you, becauase warren i know what my life is like without you and i dont want to ever be without you. Warren, remember we we got back together and i was only asking you if you meet anyone or was "with" anyone and i told you if i ever find out that you were, all hell would break lose? Yeah, right, i would have done anything, i wont have yell at you, or got on with you, and wont have left you, because i know what my life was without, and that is a life i dont want to go back to. All i would have done would have cried about it, but never would i have walked away from you, because i know i love you to much to ever be without you.

i cant love anyone the way i love you and i cant have someone touch me the way i want only you to. I rather be alone with the memories we shared. I will always love you no matter what..