| The following
is an actual question given on University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was
so "profound" that the professor shared
it.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic
(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs
of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off
when it expands and heats up when it is compressed)
or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing
in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are
moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Some of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower
rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then
the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding
at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the
postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during
my freshman year, "...that it will be a cold
day in Hell before I sleep with you." And take
into account the fact that I still have not succeeded
in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot
be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and will not freeze.
The student received the only
"A"
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