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Aussie Battler Questionnaire...

To qualify for 'battler' status you mass pass the following exam with a 90% mark or better...

1. Wrestle a croc to the ground with your bare hands
a) Bonus points if you can stick your finger....
b) Bonus points if done in a bikini
c) Bonus points issued if you can wrestle the croc and Steve Irwin

2. Must be able to talk like an aussie:
IE - Aww crikey mate your a bit of a drongo but its ok, the guys at the pub want some XXXX and the Torana is revved and rarin to go. Just get the pity and we will dump the missus with the brats. Now dont be a darn gallaha, now hurry up.

This is scored on the ability to use words that are never used in other places in the world in the same context and still pertaining to AUS heritage.

3. Must be able to shoot a Kangaroo in your back yard while standing in the tray on a pick up truck, while it is travelling at 80kms an hour.
a) Bonus points if it is night time
b) Bonus points if you’re holding both the gun and the spotty
c) Extreme bonus points if you and the drivers are "tanked"

4. Must have an official AUS uniform. Thongs, shorts and a shirt. Nothing else. Thongs are optional depending on what area of town you are walking through.

5. Must be able to pull 14 crab pots out of the water and take the crabs out in under an hour.
a) Bonus points if done in 30 mins
b) Bonus points if the crab pots are not yours
c) Bonus points if done while state fisheries are watching and your pulling undesize ones out of the pots.

6. You must own an Australian pet. Choices are:
a) Pitbull
b) Blue Heeler
c) Some kind of dog that cannot be identified due to too much cross and in breeding
d) A croc

7. Must own a barbeque and a fridge full of "piss". The fridge and the barbeque size are proportional to how great an Aussie you are.

8. Must own a least one car that has Australian recognition. These are:
a) Torana prior 1980
b) Datsun 120Y prior 1978
c) Gemini prior 1980
d) Holden prior 1980
e) Ford prior 1980
f) Kingswood prior 1980

Bonus points are issued if:
a) The car is still in working order and you still drive it
b) The car is parked in your back yard with the wheels missing and the engine being rebuilt in the kitchen of your home.
c) Extra credit is awarded if you own both a new and old Holden Monaro.


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