AFL GRAND FINAL 2002

Things were tense in the last quarter; surely Good (sort of, in the shape of the Brisbane Lions) had to prevail over Evil (Collingwood).

Brisbane’s Jason Akermanis snaps a goal on his non-preferred foot, Network Ten cameras cut to Eddie McGuire, Collingwood president and TV megalomaniac, omnipresent in the crowd - whether he mutters ‘FUCK IT’ or ‘FUCK YOU’ is neither here nor there – it’s the TV image of the year!

GOOD MORNING AUSTRALIA

Bert was at it again on Good Morning Australia... doing what he does best - cajoling unsuspecting vulnerable guests into telling us things they really shouldn’t - when Molly Meldrum arrived on set.

Molly told Bert about his weekend at Melbourne’s Myer Music Bowl watching Jamiroquai; J Kay was so good that Molly couldn’t contemplate a visit and queue at the toilets up the back.

‘Molly, no, we’re live’, implored Bert with a hand over his face, as Molly continued his story.

Molly went on to tell a grateful nation J Kay was so infectious, Molly just had to relieve himself where he stood – and suddenly his pants were awash ‘and it was like dancing in gum boots!’ Class!!!

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

No, not the “National IQ Test”, but another mundane night in with Eddie McGuire, this time on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”.

The question: ‘What is 9 X 9?’
Four options.

The contestant went to the audience who gave a split decision, so it was off to phone a friend with the defence, ‘Maths isn’t my strong point’. Suddenly it all made sense...