Got a problem too big for Oprah or Jerry Springer? Well you're in luck because the Advice Asshole is here to help! Email the Advice Asshole with all your problems at theadviceasshole@yahoo.com.

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dear advice asshole, does masturbation cause pimples?
-BoboBobo

Hey there, Bobo!!

What the fuck are you a clown? Do you wear makeup? Do you have one of those big clown noses. If you masurbate with your big red nose, it may be slightly possible. But let's face it, you've got herpes. If you did have to be someone's bitch in the "slammer" (named that for the ass slamming) you should have checked into his std's. Sorry, that's the only thing wrong with you. You've got yourself a nice solid case of herpes.

That's just my opinion, and I know I'm not wrong...

-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com

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dear asshole my wife of 16 yrs wants too have a three way with me and one of my friends . don't get me wrong I'm no prude but I've only got three friends. #1 has no legs #2 is a complete fucking idiot with a sloping forehead and he drool's continuously. #3 is my best friend a german sheppard with mange . given my wide variety of choices I must ask the wisest man on the internet . if you were in my dilemma. what would you do? remember I worship your ever inspiring opinion.
signed horsedork.
p.s luv the site..

Horse(fly)Dick,

You gotta start paying me for this advice man, you've asked me for help so many times, it's almost not funny when I diss you anymore.

You always seem to ask about "your wife wanting to have a threesome." Then you talk about stupid ass things like your dog. Is "your wife" real? I mean you must be trying to be funny. It's not working. Stop it. Thank
You.

That's just my opinion, and I know I'm not wrong...

-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com