Got a problem too big for Oprah or Jerry Springer?
Well you're in luck because the Advice Asshole is here to help!
Email the Advice Asshole with all your problems at
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com.
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Dear Advice Asshole,
I saw you told 'John' (Joan) that
there can be no fire in space cause of the lack of air. Isn't the
sun a giant ball of fire - in space?
Regards,
Erik
Well Erik,
Thanks to your brilliance and your brilliance
alone, I've changed my theory on fire in space. Sure fire will burn
in the upper atmosphere and on the moon, but to do that, we'd have
to leave the atmosphere. So let's all hop into a Boeing 747 and
fly to the moon for our little experiment. We can't though, can
we? That's because the government wants us to believe that we can't
leave the atmosphere in an ordinary plane, but it's because they're
actually being controlled like puppets from the Eighth Sector of
Planet Zebes by the Chozo Race. They don't want anyone to leave
the Earth in fear that we'll all learn their horrible secret; we
are nothing more than Lab Rats on a Different Planet.
That's just my opinion, and I know I'm
not wrong...
-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com
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Why do i have seven dicks and my mother only has 4???
richard myst
Well Mr. Myst,
It's quite simple actually. It's because you
are indeed part of the Chozo Race. Some how, you accidentally got
sent to the planet Earth as part of the experiment, and now you
can't go back because you've been so assimilated into the "Human
Race" that you don't realize that you're Chozoan.
That's just my opinion, and I know I'm
not wrong...
-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com
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Hey advice asshole,
Here's some fucking advice - don't quit your day job!
You suck!
-Glen Brown
Mr. Brown,
In rebuttal to your accusation of my sucking,
I must say that you are correct. I do suck. However, I do not have
the luxury of being a deep throat master like you. Furthermore,
I can't quit my day job. I do not have one. Why? It is most likely
due to the fact that dirty Mexicans like you hop across our border
and take all of the jobs that Americans deserve. Goddamned Mexicans...
ARRRRGH...
That's just my opinion, and I know I'm
not wrong...
-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com
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dear asshole. thank you so much for the advice on
sucking my own cock ( horsefly dick! ha ha ha ) so. on to my newest
dilemma. it seems my brother's wife(who I've been porking on a regular
basis )had her left tittie removed because of breast cancer .so
now I find a titty fuck impossible! can you please help? because
I've reemed out her pussy and assholeso much there's no alternitive.
signed horsedork
Welcome Back HorseFlyDick!!
Let me be the first to welcome you to the all
new, revamped TAA Column. It's amazing that you're having all of
this sex with your brother's wife, and still getting time to get
on a computer and put your small penis on a web cam chat room. Oh
yeah, I've Seen you... or should I say Lack of You? Now I know,
I'm going to catch heat for going into a male chat room, but my
only excuse is that your feminine look and small package only helped
to cloak you as a woman.
That's just my opinion, and I know I'm
not wrong...
-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com
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Hello advice asshole,
I've got one more question for you.
Seeing al these nice pics on orsm.net I wonder where these girls
are ? Ok, I do meet enough beautifull girls, but where are the beautifull
girls that are openminded, apear on sites/photoshoots/ ...
Could you tell me that ?
Thx in advance,
Acda from Belgium
Acda? Wasn't that a bad 80's band?
Oh well I can't remember. Whatever. Well Acda,
the open-minded, gorgeous women that are depicted on Orsm.net and
other websites/videos/magazines are all imaginary. Those women don't
exist. They are all generated by computer. CGI has come a long way...
That's just my opinion, and I know I'm
not wrong...
-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com
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I have the opposite problem to most
guys. When my girlfriend has a drink or two, she gets so horny,
and gets on all fours and tells me to fuck her up the ass. Trouble
is, it's so tight, and it hurts me a lot. And as she's bucking up
and down, telling me to push more in, I'm in agony. Tried KY jelly
and all sorts of lube, but it still hurts. Tried buying one of those
German sausages, and ramming it up her, but all it did was bring
her off more violently, and when I shoved my Todger in, it still
hurt. Anyone got any ideas?
Mr. Can't Ass Fuck,
I've got the only advice applicable
to your problem. SUCK IT UP. Any other man in the world would kill
to have a woman as easy as yours. If you can't handle it, give her
up so another MAN can take advantage of that great pleasure: ANAL
SEX. Thanks.
That's just my opinion, and I know I'm
not wrong...
-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com
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Dear Advice Asshole,
I dated this girl for something close
to 4 months, and since then have fallen head over ass with her.
Unfortunately, she has gone completely ballistic, and hates me to
no end. I still care for her, have no idea what went wrong, and
I still feel that she somehow-deep inside-cares for me too.
Please help,
-Completely fuct in Maryland
Mr. Fuct in Maryland,
The answer to your problem is quite obvious.
Enlarge your penis. She wouldn't have left if you could have satisfied
her. And that stems toward your other comment; "I still feel
that she somehow-deep inside-cares for me too." If you weren't
so tiny, you could have been DEEP INSIDE of HER.
That's just my opinion, and I know I'm
not wrong...
-The Advice Asshole
theadviceasshole@yahoo.com |
