| I've been promising a decent
update for a while now so here it is. Why has it taken so long?
Because I TRY and have a life AND school has been busy as fuck AND
I have also been trying to get the Mp3's back online properly [but
that will have to wait for the time being].
Thanks to all of the concerned campers who have
emailed me every single day asking where the hell my update is.
Make's me feel all warm inside I swear. Anyways - I've spent frickin
aaaages making and adding new Priceless
pics. About 50 of them in total I think which now takes me to just
under 200 Priceless Pics. As far as I can tell it's the biggest
collection on the web but according to some people I'm just a rip-off
or something.
They start somewhere on this
page. Some pretty good ones if I do say so.
Anyways... let the update begin...
An emergency autopsy was performed early this
morning. Chief Medical Examiner Dura-Cell concluded that the cause
of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation.
Apparently, someone had installed Mr.
Bunny's batteries backwards; and he kept coming, and coming,
and coming...
On to some reader e-mail... Some good ones this
week.
Scott Williams wrote:
I don't know who the fuck you are...
actually, I don't really give a shit, but, I do not appreciate you
manipulating my computer to go to your shitty ass web page when
I try to go to my home page.
Why don't you mind your own fucking
business and stop fucking with people. Keep it up and you WILL get
fucked up!! You are not hard to find asshole!
What a fuckin dickhead.
I have absolutely NO idea what the fuck he is on about at all even
slightly and even a bit less that that. Wanna fuck
me up? Be my guest at having your best shot, Shit-lips... but
don't forget - anything [someone as fuckin stupid as] you
can do, I can do better.
Kevin
wrote:
Dear Mr Orsm: Great site. Leave it to an Aussie to
have the funniest site on the web.
Thanks... we aim to please.
Is it true that everyone in Australia descends from
murderers and rapists?
Ummm... how the hell did you work that one out?
What is it that the rest of the world thinks of us Aussies? Do we
really come across that
badly? Just because the Brits used to send convicts here [roughly
213 years ago] to colonise, doesn't make us bad people... does it???
If anyone is making anyone look bad it's those
idiots on Survivor.
It makes Americans look bad. [No offence to most of you by the way].
The thing that gets me is that every time one of em suggests
something, whether it be a good
thing, a bad
thing or whatever - one of the other fuck-sticks pipes up with
"yeah - I was already thinking about that before". As
in they had the idea four fucking days before anyone else possibly
did. What possible psychological advantage can tribe 'Kucha' lose
to 'Ogakor' by saying "yes it is" or "good idea,
mate!" I don't understand. That scripted shit is really starting
to get tiresome... except for the part when the guy fell in the
fire a few weeks ago. That was Priceless.
Look's like he was actually the was the first one to think of that.
Does that make your family reunions dangerous?
Only went good old Aunt
Sally gets through her third or fourth bottle of Gin and starts
smashing plates and cups against the wall. Somehow turns into an
all in brawl. I usually wait until it is almost all over and start
kicking bleeding relatives in the ribs after they have been knocked
unconscious. Unfortunately for me, last year my plan didn't work
- Sally started throwing onions and pickles
at me for no apparent reason and everyone just sort of joined in.
I've been walking
funny ever since.
Just wondering.
Kevin from Canada
I hope I answered your questions Kevin
from Canada.
And finally this one that arrived yesterday which
has me absolutely fuckin bamboozled. Never have I come across someone
who appears to be more
on drugs than this guy...
Harry Charchuk
wrote:
Hello to you............. I hope I am in the right
department. I have an account with you but I have a problem.
I switched to cable from my old server
and have a new address and user name. I am a paid customer and can't
get any of your good stuff as a result. I would like to be able
to receive the goodies if at all possible.
My old address was harryc@axion.net
My user name was harryc. I have forgotten my password.
My new address is harry.ch@home.com
My new user name is harry.ch
So if you could, please get me on line to receive
your wonderful goodies.. It is the BEST IN THE WORLD..................
I trust you will look at this matter and am awaiting
your reply..............
Gotta love reader mail. Send me some right over
here.
--------------------------------------------
While visiting England, George Bush is invited
to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy
is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.
He asks how she knows if they're intelligent."I do so by asking
them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to
demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime
Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child,
and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother
or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds ,"It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and goodbye, sir," says the Queen.
She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes, ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely
be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd
better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee
to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says,
"Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your
mind?"
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and
your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your
sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks,
"Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately
calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle
over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with
an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at
the State Department and explains his problem. "Now lookee
here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child,
and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's
me, of course, you dumb cracker."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the
White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who
it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong,
you dumb shit, it's Tony Blair!"
It was tough deciding what Fine Naked Women [FNF]
pics would be posted today. I demand quality and second best just
doesn't cut it at the Orsm Corporation. What was I to do? After
a great deal of thinking, thinking and a even more thinking while
I was thinking [about 3.7 seconds in total] I decided that only
this fine specimen would do...
Lurvly - Lurvly
- Lurvly - Lurvly
- Lurvly - Lurvly
- Lurvly - Lurvly
- Lurvly - Lurvly
Lurvly - Lurvly
- Lurvly - Lurvly
- Lurvly - Lurvly
- Lurvly
Came across this
site the other day. There's a whole collection of voicemail
messages from some chick who quite obviously has some serious problems.
You really have to laugh at the crazy bitch. Make sure you check
it out.
Has this
ever happened to you? Tell
us about it.
--------------------------------------------
A train hits a bus load of nuns and they
all perish. They are all in Heaven trying to enter the pearly gates
past St.Peter.
St. Peter asks first nun, "Sister
Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
She giggles and slyly replies, "Well
once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your
finger in the holy water and pass through the gate." St. Peter
asks the next nun the same question, "Sister Elizabeth have
you ever had any contact with a penis?"
The nun is a little reluctant but replies "Well
once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says "OK, dip
your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of nuns.
One nun is pushing her way to the front of the
line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says "Sister,
Sister! What seems to be the rush?"
The nun replies "If I'm going to have to
gargle that holy water, I want to go before Sister Mary sticks her
arse in it!!"
--------------------------------------------
I can not figure out what the fuck it is that
is going on in most of these pics. If you can, email
me.
Weird
1 - Weird
2 - Weird
3 - Weird
4 - Weird
5 - Weird
6
--------------------------------------------
Gush vid's? What the fuck? That's what I thought.
Grab your goggles and strap yourselves in for these because they
get all ummm... wet...
Gush
1 - Gush
2 - Gush
3 - Gush
4 - Gush
5 - Gush
6 - Gush
7
--------------------------------------------
A woman wants the inside of her house painted
and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the
house, and she points out the colours she wants. She says, "Now,
in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft
and warm."
The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper
and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells,
"Green side up!"
The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide.
They wander into the next room. She says, "In the dining room
I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy."
The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.
Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side
up"!
The woman is even more perplexed but still lets
it slide. They wander further into the next room. She says, "In
the bedroom, I'd like blue. Restful, peaceful, cool blue."
The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper
and writes on it. Then once more he goes to the window, leans out
and yells "Green side up"!
This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she
says, "Every time I tell you a colour, you write it down, but
then you yell out the window 'Green side up.' What on earth does
that mean?"
The contractor shakes his head and says, "I
have four blondes laying grass across the street."
--------------------------------------------
I said this was going to be a big update didn't
I? No point stopping now. Here's this weeks collection of Random
Shite.
RS
1 - RS
2 - RS
3 - RS
4 - RS
5 - RS
6 - RS
7 - RS
8 - RS
9 - RS
10
RS
11 - RS
12 - RS
13 - RS
14 - RS
15 - RS
16 - RS
17 - RS
18 - RS
19 - RS
20
RS
21 - RS
22 - RS
23 - RS
24 - RS
25 - RS
26 - RS
28
--------------------------------------------
Had a conversation with a
chick who Icq'd me the other day.
[Insert random chit-chat here]
Orsm: so how
do I come across then?
Icq Chick: judging by your site or by
this conversation??
Orsm: both... I'd be interested
to know....
Icq Chick: by your web site: a guy who
has a dirty mind and a lot of time on his hands. conversation: normal
nice guy
Is this what you people really think of
me? Fuck me... I'm
hurt... I have hardly any spare time on my hands!
--------------------------------------------
Cleavage
- Cleavage
- Cleavage
- Cleavage
- Cleavage
--------------------------------------------
Can't remember who it was who sent these to me
but they are pretty
fuckin cool. If you look closely you will see a naked chick
in the pic. Kind of like a Where's Wally type thing but not really
at all...
Art
Pron 1 - Art
Pron 2 - Art
Pron 3 - Art
Pron 4 - Art
Pron 5 - Art
Pron 6
Also got the url to this
page emailed to me. Amazing how things like this can just take
off sometimes. There's already people creating their own
special modified versions of it too. I can see a 'Wassup' type
of thing happening here with a million spin-offs floating around
the web. Can't wait...
--------------------------------------------
Fags spamming
my message board? Oh puhleeeeease.... Haven't they got anything
better to do? Feel free to go and post
on theirs with all the heterosexual... no no... all the anti-gay
propaganda you can think of. NO I am not anti-gay, I just don't
like fags
spamming my message board.
--------------------------------------------
A blind man and his guide
dog enter a Bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering
a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the
bartender "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before
you tell that joke, you should know something.
The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde
and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a black belt in karate. What's
more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight
lifter.
The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's
a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna
tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna
have to explain it five times."
--------------------------------------------
Dogmatic
- KFC One
- Human
Traffic - Here
Is The Porn - Lego
Porn - Eye
Glass
... and not forgetting X-Dude.
He's doing some fuckin kick ass stuff over there with Flash
and his latest creation is amazing.
MALE COMEBACKS TO FEMALE COMEBACKS TO MALE
CHAT UP LINES
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there
calls you a fat slut.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Probably because you will be on your knees
sucking on my cock.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back
of my car, I don't give a shit where you go.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: So that's how you got that little moustache.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the
morning?
Woman: Unfertilised
Man: No problem, I can always shoot my load up your arse.
Man: I would go to the end of the world
for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of bitch that's impossible
to shake off once you've shagged her.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die
happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: That works for me.... as long as you are still a bit warm when
I shove it up your arse.
Male: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather die.
Male: I think you misheard me. I said your arse looks fat in those
pants.
--------------------------------------------
Time to wrap this update up I think...
I'll finish with a couple more vids because I
know you guys love to get off on this sick shit. By the way, to
all of you guys who email me scat vids, thanks for thinking of me
but they fuckin disturb me. I really don't like posting em. You're
prolly better off sending em to the Stile-master
than I.
Eye
See - Double
Pump
Anyways, I'm outta here. I hope the update was
worth the wait. It should be considering how much work has gone
into it. Actually, I think I probably could have built a whole new
fuckin site with the amount of shit I have added. When's the next
update? Fuck knows. I'll be making em smaller from now on so I don't
eat up my web space as quickly. Maybe this Friday, maybe not.
Not enough content on this page to keep
you happy? Go and tell the complaints
department about it.
Wanna send me something or just tell me
I suck goats? Email me here.
Take care and be good. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.
|
